Sex, religion, politics—all increasingly fair game for polite conversation. But raise the topic of money and watch that dinner party screech to a halt. The authors of two new books on money matters advise readers to shed the shame and speak honestly about what they earn, what they spend, and how they feel about it.

“I want to be the Dr. Ruth of money conversations—disarming people’s fear, making it okay to ask questions,” says Wealthspire Advisors consultant Sheila Schroeder. In It’s Time to Talk (Wiley, Dec.), she directs her advice toward women, walking them through conversations about debt, budgeting, the need for a raise, and other tough topics. Women face particular challenges when communicating about money, Schroeder says, because they’re “ashamed when they think they don’t know enough. And until relatively recently they didn’t have agency over their financial lives, didn’t have their own credit cards, anything. So if you were talking about money, it was because there was a problem, because you didn’t have any or didn’t have enough.”

So how does a person get good at talking about it? The trick, Schroeder says, is practice. “Talk to anyone you can—it could be your boss, it could be your parents. Talk to your girlfriends to develop the money muscle.”

Couples therapist Terry Gaspard says she interviewed somewhere around 100 couples for Let’s Talk About Money (Bloomsbury Academic, Jan. 2026), to find out how they achieved financial health through communication and how they learned financial intimacy. Financial stress is the number one reason couples break up, according to Gaspard, who urges readers to strive for “transparency, open-ended conversations, and making time for monthly money talks.”

Easier said than done, she acknowledges; discussing money makes people feel vulnerable. “We’ve heard people argue about money and we feel it’s a source of discomfort. Maybe we feel like our partner doesn’t understand us. It helps to develop a mindset of ‘us against the problem,’ not each other, so you’re in it together.”

Gaspard, who studied with influential relationship therapist John Gottman, emphasizes “the importance of turning toward one another. Turn off your phones; really listen to one another. There’s no room for put-downs or accusations. Don’t leave the room; don’t talk badly about one another.” Such conversations can lower tensions and prevent arguments, she says. “I don’t believe disagreements about money are actually about money, but about dreams, hopes, and insecurities.”

Both authors champion the importance of laying it all out there. But there’s one circumstance, Schroeder says, in which it’s
wisest to keep your mouth shut: “If you‘re thinking about getting divorced, don’t tell your friends. Engage a family law attorney and a financial planner. You need advice, not gossip.”

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