Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

“What matters is understanding how your trauma interferes with what your child needs from you and what to do about it,” writes psychologist Koslowitz in her empowering debut. She explains the concept of adverse childhood experiences, or ACEs—traumas that can be caused by physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, or by growing up with instability due to divorce, mental health problems, or substance abuse. These inevitably impact how adults parent their own children, Koslowitz explains, and she lays out five types of parenting that result from trauma. “Entangled” parents remain caught up in their trauma; “perfectionists” are overly intent on doing parenting “right”; “disengaged” parents “appear unmotivated” but ultimately believe they’ll have a negative impact on their children; “paralyzed” parents primarily know what not to do; and “survivors” can only manage getting through the day. Koslowitz devotes a chapter to each parenting style and offers user-friendly exercises and reflection questions. Survivor parents, for example, are encouraged to journal about someone who makes them feel safe, while the entangled parent should imagine their boundaries as a physical object and envision themselves constructing it. Koslowitz’s empathy and wisdom will be a boon for struggling parents. Agent: Wendy Keller, Keller Media. (July)