cover image Sorry I Keep Crying During Sex: A Memoir

Sorry I Keep Crying During Sex: A Memoir

Jesse James Rose. Abrams, $28 (272p) ISBN 978-1-4197-7791-2

Rose debuts with a heartbreaking and genre-bending exploration of grief, trauma, and gender identity. In blunt prose, she wades through a flood of memories, volleying from scenes of caring for her immobile grandfather in the present to recollections of sometimes-awful, sometimes-transcendent hookups and the dissolution of a major romantic relationship. Along the way, Rose supplements straightforward prose sections with Grindr transcripts, fictional screenplay snippets, and themed lists. A “List of People I Want to Meet” includes “The Twitter gay I followed last night (yum)”; a “List of Reasons My Rape Doesn’t Count” includes “He didn’t leave my body in a ditch.” Such fluid transitions between heavy and light abound, with Rose’s internet-indebted humor counterbalancing frank episodes of suicidal ideation and sexual violence, while her moving descriptions of gender euphoria (which induces a state of “patching up her heart, fixing their brain, being lovable, not crying”) provide genuine pathos. The book’s magpie structure could be off-putting in lesser hands, but James always roots the proceedings in bracing honesty. The emotional intensity and sexual candor won’t be for everyone, but open-minded readers will be wowed—especially if they’re grappling with their own self-definition. Agent: Mollie Glick, CAA. (Oct.)