And the Dragons Do Come: Raising a Transgender Kid in Rural America

Butler, a former associate professor of communication at the University of Alabama, debuts with a poignant memoir of raising his transgender daughter in the rural South. Throughout, Butler cops to his own shortfalls as a father, including quarrelsomeness—“Being transgender is not easy, but you should all try having a debate coach for a father!” teases his now-teen daughter. But Butler’s instinct for debate serves him well as he punctuates the heartwarming story of his daughter’s coming out with firm arguments supporting the rights of trans kids. When his daughter—pseudonym “Kate”—tells Butler and his wife, “I am a girl in my heart,” just before her sixth birthday, they realize this isn’t a phase or playing pretend; she’s demonstrating “insistent, consistent, and persistent” markers of her gender identity. Their extended family and Baptist church are accepting, but “dragons” lay beyond the castle walls of their tight-knit social circle: a teacher insists on deadnaming Kate, a swim coach refuses to let her participate in a coed sport, and the state of Alabama passes a law removing her access to medical care. Ultimately Butler must leave his beloved home state to protect his daughter. At the end of the book, she is thriving; when asked what adults should know about trans kids, she says: “We just want to be kids too.” It’s a moving glimpse of the struggle for trans kids’ rights. (Nov.)