The Other Side of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans

Cognitive scientist Shankar debuts with a pragmatic, research-based guide to surviving life’s biggest disruptions. After a surrogate pregnancy ended in miscarriage, Shankar sought out others who’d experienced major upheavals to their life plans and spoke with them about how they’d successfully negotiated such changes. Examples include Olivia Lewis, a college student who battled through the aftermath of a catastrophic stroke by letting go of her obsession with others’ approval and investing in her recovery; Dwayne Betts, who was inspired to start writing poetry in prison by a fellow inmate who was making the most of his sentence; and Matt Gutman, a broadcast journalist who escaped a spiral of self-recrimination following an on-air error by “zooming out” to consider other people’s takes on the situation. Though not all of Shankar’s insights are groundbreaking, her explanations of the cognitive science involved are lucid and memorable. For instance, writing of how Gutman sought external feedback on his mistake, she observes that “emboldening others to poke holes in our narratives” can “create small openings through which we can forge new mental pathways.” Readers facing their own hinge points will be informed and inspired. (Jan.)

Correction: An earlier version of this review mischaracterized the circumstances under which the author sought out others who had experienced major changes to their life plans.