Love in Exile

In this poignant and thought-provoking memoir, journalist and essayist Faye (The Transgender Issue) pairs a cultural analysis of love with a chronicle of her own experiences with the emotion. What begins as a reflection on the complexities of Faye’s queer and trans identities and her search for self-acceptance evolves into a broader critique of love’s evolving definitions and its roles in contemporary society. Faye nimbly knits together musings on romance, family life, and self-love, reflecting on the breakdown of multiple relationships—particularly a significant one that ended because Faye’s partner, a cis man, wanted biological children—and delving into the impact of her father’s alcoholism on her own struggles with substance abuse. Elsewhere, she writes ambivalently of Grindr and casual hookups (“I have, at certain points, considered my sexual desire for men a personal liability”). These intimate stories are enriched by references to writers and thinkers including bell hooks, Simone de Beauvoir, and Germaine Greer, whose ideas help Faye make sense of love’s shifting meanings across decades and contexts. The resulting narrative is rigorous and illuminating without tipping into excessive self-seriousness. This lyrical reflection on love is a sure bet for readers who like their memoirs raw and their cultural criticism sharp. (May)