Consent Laid Bare: Sex, Entitlement, and the Distortion of Desire

Contos, founder of Teach Us Consent, examines in her potent debut how the patriarchy has normalized prizing men’s desire above women’s autonomy. In the author’s view, dominant social narratives—that men should always be “up for sex” and are unable to control themselves; that women are responsible for not “tempting” men—have taught “entitled opportunists” that they have an implicit right to women’s bodies and that violating consent in small ways is acceptable. Such beliefs, she argues, cause girls to become resigned to bad sexual experiences and shape notions of sex as a matter of conquest rather than mutual exploration. Noting that consent education for men aged 18 or older doesn’t seem to change behavior, Contos calls for earlier interventions that center empathy for women. She also encourages informal forms of collective accountability, calling on friend groups to confront offenders and women to refuse to go to fraternities where a rape occurred. While those familiar with the concept of consent culture won’t find much that’s new, the first-person testimonials from victims of sexual assault that Contos intersperses throughout are powerful. It’s a solid assessment of a pernicious social problem with some valuable suggestions for reform. (Aug.)